


Caught Up in These Feelings

by Bandicoot



Category: Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Game)
Genre: Batjokes, Fluff, John Doe - Freeform, Juce, Kissing, M/M, The Enemy Within, bruce is still an awkward mess and i live for it, more fics on this please ;), pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:32:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandicoot/pseuds/Bandicoot
Summary: Spoilers for The Enemy Within ending. Bruce visits John in Arkham after leaving as friends.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this first chapter is like an hour? Had the sudden urge to write something after the ending. I'm always striving to know what could happen afterwards.

The walls echoed back at Bruce as he walked down the corridor of Arkham, the sound of his shoes ringed in his ears with every step, and with every step, came nerves. Tap, tap, tap. An Arkham guard was guiding him to his destination, one which Bruce was both eager for, while also wanting to run away from this place forever. John Doe was here, which was both awful and wonderful. Bruce took the decision himself that he had to visit him, he had to, there was no other alternative. Bruce had exploited his friendship, had led him on with the vigilante activities, and through Bruce, people died. John lost his way in the depths of his own mind, clouded with darkness, with a slither of light that emitted love and justice. John strived to access that love and justice, but found darkness, and it engulfed him until nothing was left of him. Bruce hated himself, and so he would attempt to repair things somewhat. The past was the past, things that had happened cannot be fixed. But it could be reshaped.

“We're here.”

Bruce wanted to ignore the voice, wanted to pretend that he was not here, while also wanting to blow off the door that stood between himself and John. Bruce fiddled with the corners of the small box he was holding, taking in the sensation of its sharp corners. A gift.

“You ready?”

Bruce wanted to be, but he lies to himself, lies to the guard, lies to John. He nods.

“Visitor for John Doe.”

Bruce made the quick decision to unnecessarily adjust his tie. He felt like he is fourteen again, asking girls out on dates. How things had changed. A breath gets caught in his stomach as he heard the locks from the other side undo themselves. Bruce does not watch, not until he hears John's voice. The door hatch swung open.

“Bruce!”

Bruce's insides melted.

Diverting his eyes, he made contact with John's beaming face. He returns with a tender smile, one that John loves. Bruce always looked lovely when he smiled, which was rare, so John makes sure he indulges in those rare pleasantries.

“You want in?” the guard asked. They had already discussed the subject of whether Bruce should remain on the other side of the door, but that was impossible in Bruce's mind. Their bond was too strong to have an ugly metal door standing between them.

“I do,” Bruce answers back almost too quickly, wishing he could swallow his own words. He hoped neither of them caught on just how fast. He stepped back to allow the guard to do his job. The door opens with an unpleasant scratch as it battled against the grey flooring.

Bruce found John suddenly on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall, seemingly relaxed, or attempting to, watching as Bruce entered his lair. The door emitted a clang as it closed behind Bruce, the cue John was waiting for to completely close the distance between them as he attacked Bruce with a heart-warming hug.

Bruce's heart wanted to pop. The two of them have so much to catch up on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feels. Just feels. Hope the ending doesn't end too weirdly, but I wanted to get what I'd done out there for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing all day for my university dissertation, so you'd think I wouldn't want to do more writing, but here we are.
> 
> I included my original game choices in this chapter, because they're part of my story experience, and make up a huge part in how I saw John. I'm not including the slap in there though (sorry I did that John).

Bruce could feel the beating of his heart, thumping against his inner walls like it wished to be free. Perhaps it was because John caught him off guard. That was what he would tell himself anyway. He could feel John too, his excited little flutters making their way through the fabrics of both of their clothing. John's strength does not go unnoticed as he trapped Bruce in this bear hug, resting his cheek on Bruce's shoulder. Just like he did at the Fun House. Bruce wished he could go back to that moment and change things with the knowledge he had now. Despite everything, he could never forget how much John was like an adorable kitten wanting attention.

“Uh... John? Can you--?” _Let go?_ Bruce thought that might come across the wrong way. “Let's catch up over here, okay?”

John showed no sign of letting go, and it takes a moment for Bruce to pick up on the little hitches in John's breath, in an attempt to hide them. John was crying.

“John, I--” He cannot find the words, wondering if anything should be said at all. The most natural thing Bruce could think of is to just hug back, and so he does.

“It's okay, John. I'm here.”

That seemed to have helped somewhat, feeling John's own muscles relax, while also allowing Bruce's own skin to breathe. Bruce stopped himself from rubbing John's back, not wishing to get too intimate, at least not yet, not just for his own benefit, but John's too, whose state was currently fragile. That subject had haunted Bruce's mind, nagging at him to bring it up with John. But he was not sure if he should, or maybe he would let John bring it up. It was impossible to not acknowledge it, because John literally confessed his feelings back at Ace Chemicals, under strained circumstances, but a confession nonetheless. Their relationship was complicated to say the least, with no clear hint on where one would go from there.

“I-- I didn't expect you... to come see.” John's voice was pathetic, unlike anything Bruce had ever heard.

He had seen John upset plenty, even to the point of tearing up slightly like the incident on the bridge with Harley. She meant so much to John, perhaps a little too much, but John never actually cried for her, at least from what Bruce had seen. Guilt ate away at Bruce when he thinks about that time that Harley got left behind, and John ran into his little house. Maybe that was one of those times that Bruce never actually got to see. What was evident right now though is that John was crying, because of him.

“Of course I would come see you, I said I wouldn't abandon you, remember?”

His mind takes him back to Ace Chemicals again, seeing John so defeated, lost without a purpose, his world crumbling around him and turning to dust. Bruce hoped it was enough, but all John heard was Arkham, Arkham, Arkham, and Bruce understood why John was so scared and felt cornered like a wounded animal. Arkham was indeed hell, and Bruce hated that John was here. It was why Bruce had to visit, because to leave John with no one, much like he was before, would be heartless. John spoke to Bruce about his dark times in Arkham, before he met Harley, evidently latching onto her because she gave him a purpose to do something with his life, to be somebody. At least, that was what John told Bruce, because Bruce knew better that she was not enough, merely using him to push her own agenda, caring little for John's well-being and manipulating his feelings into thinking there might be something special between them. But all of it was lies, lies that left John heartbroken, confused, and left with a black eye, all by the hands of Harley.

Bruce had used John too, partly because of Waller, but Bruce would ask himself, if Waller was not involved, and if he was able to, would Bruce still have found himself in the Pact, exploiting John's friendship? Alfred did say that John would not have to be betrayed if he did not assort with criminals, which was true enough, and at the time, Bruce was not true if John could be trusted. He sometimes distanced himself from him, blatantly lied to his face to make John feel good, like that time at the Stacked Deck and Bruce told him that he liked hanging out with him. John replied back that it meant the world to him, and Bruce wished he had said something else.

“You're... a good friend, Bruce.”

Bruce thought otherwise.

He felt John finally release himself from him, taking a few steps back so that the two of them could observe each other. John saw billionaire charmer Bruce Wayne, his very best friend. Bruce saw nothing but a mistake. John was a result of what Bruce had done to him, his eyes pained, puffy and red from the crying. Bruce finds himself taking a sudden interest in the gift box still in his hands, unsure of what to say.

“John I-- I'm sorry John. I've been a lousy friend, but I hope that... I can amend it, at least a little.”

Bruce expected John to immediately say something back, good or bad.

“Boop!”

John had just booped his nose.

Bruce wants to hide. That was... exceptionally cute. Bruce felt his cheeks warm slightly, and continued to stand there like the dumbfounded fool he was.

“Is that for me?”

John gestured towards the gift box.

“Uh, yes. I bought you a gift.” Thank God for the change in subject. He handed it to John. “I hope you like it.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gift is revealed, and John gets emotional.

Anticipation bubbled from within as John wondered what the gift could be. A toy? A watch? Sweets? Something sugary did sound good right about now.

“Don't shake it,” Bruce warnes him.

John had wanted to shake it like a child on Christmas Day, so he was thankfully for the warning. He made his way to his bed, carefully placing himself down. When Bruce does not join him, choosing to stand in an orderly manner with his hands neatly tucked away in his pockets, John gives him a questioning look, and taps the space next to him.

“There's room for two, Bruce,” he said invitingly.

Bruce replied with a shy smile, but takes John up on the offer. To Bruce's surprise, the bed was more comfortable than he had imagined. At least he knew where his funds were being spent in this place. He watched John's fingers caress the packaging of the gift box, appreciating the purple wrapping paper around it. The choice of green ribbon did not go amiss either. Bruce really had thought of him, all the way down to the box's aesthetic. John almost wanted to cry even at the thought, but focused on dismantling the box to claim its contents. The ribbon was loosened like an unwanted shoelace, discarding it to one side, and then proceeded to lift off the lid.

Bruce observed John's eyes, reading as the emotions begin to swirl into realization, his pupils dilating. The gift box contained a framed photograph of Bruce and John at the funeral, the place they had met for the first time in over a year. Delicate fingers grasped the frame, drawing it out of its boxed prison with such debilitate slowness, Bruce almost wondered if John was okay. John was taken back in time to that moment as he drinks in the photograph, remembering a better time, and the times that would follow. The bar, the cafe, the Fun House, the bridge... The two of them had gone through so much together. His thumb hovered over the beautifully intricate groves of the wooden frame. Bruce truly got him something special, and John could not hold in his emotions any longer when the tears return, along with an ugly snort.

Before Bruce could properly react, John throws himself towards him in a half gratifying hug, half sprawling against his chest, arms wrapping around his back. Bruce nearly topples over at the force, his right palm pushing against the bed to stop the both of them ending up in a precarious position. Though the idea of falling back first on John's bed was not entirely unwanted either. He could feel John's nose digging into his chest, bringing up his left arm to meet with John's back.

“Do you like it?”

He already knew the answer, but both appreciated the silence anyway.

John detached himself from the other man, his emotions more bearable now. He looked at the photograph again.

“That's us... That's us when we met after all that time. I-- I wasn't sure if you even kept it after I sent it to you.”

That hurt, but Bruce understood where John was coming from.

“They told me that they had confiscated your phone, so I figured you wouldn't have a photograph of us together. Although...”

Bruce stood up and walked over to the framed photograph of him and John, the night John had approached him on the rooftop as Batman. Bruce recalled the photographs on John's wall, the funeral selfie being the only one of Bruce and John, without counting the fake selfies that John created himself by sticking Bruce's head over some random person's face. There was the one of Batman and John of course which he saw in front of him. The rest were mostly of Harley or John by himself. Bruce picked up the photograph from John's table.

“You have one of Batman.” He smiled over to John, who was currently clearing his face of what was left of the tears.

“Yeah... I love that guy y'know? So heroic and strong and cool... Everything I'm not.”

Bruce wanted to die.

He placed the photograph back on the table, rejoining John on the bed. Both of John's hands were back on the gifted photograph, still examining how precious the gift was, his thumbs and fingers constantly roaming over the texture of the well crafted wood.

“That's not true John. You showed a lot of promise on the outside world. You saved me several times, putting yourself in danger. What kind of person does that?”

He spotted John's fingers as they diverted to caressing the glass, and onto the photograph where Bruce was positioned in the shot. He turned his head, his eyes that of a man trying to hide his own fear, but knows he was as transparent as the glass in his hands. His gaze intently lined up with Bruce's.

“A person who is in love?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never said it before, but do give criticism if things don't sit well with you. I want to improve as a writer, for myself. I even studied creative writing at university, so I do take pride in my work. If things sound bad, tell me, I want to know. Of course, I do love the kind messages, but I always have this doubt that people don't say everything they're thinking. Honestly though, I want to get better, because I do write crap sometimes, I do write sentences that in my mind make sense, but actually it's like "wtf?", and the structure doesn't work. I don't want that. I want to write stuff that's at least decent. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, not a long chapter, but I like how it ends, and can continue the next chapter straight after.
> 
> I enjoy astronomy too, which becomes evident as you read. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some small notes to know.
> 
> I have edited my story slightly to make it past tense, instead of 'the now'. Originally I thought that by reading it in the now would sound better. I still believe in some areas it does work better, but sometimes it sounds silly, so changed everything to 'was', etc. I've also made some grammar corrections, and in the last chapter, changed 'photograph-Bruce' to describing the photograph of Bruce instead, because 'photograph-Bruce' sounds a bit weird to me.
> 
> Italics = flashbacks/inner thoughts.  
> * symbol = emphasis.

_“I was so busy looking at you.”_

Bruce was drawn to the nebula that laid within John's eyes...

_“Admiring you.”_

… their threads of colour as they reached for the circular walls...

_“Wanting to be like you.”_

… keeping hidden the void of John's soul...

_“Be loved by you.”_

… and Bruce wanted to be caught in John's gravity.

As if floating in the depths of space, Bruce forgets to breathe for a moment, the vibrations of his heart reaching his throat. He inadvertently blinks too many times, and made the mistake of turning his head away and looking down at the floor.

“I get it Bruce... and it's fine. Someone like you, and someone like me? It's a miracle we're even friends.”

There was that nervous giggle again.

“It's not that.” Bruce would not allow John to speak like that.

“Bruce?”

Bruce let out a sigh, giving John the respect he deserved by allowing him to see his face again.

“John-- Just because we're different doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?”

“I guess so. Which is great! I like being friends Bruce!”

_"God, why did John have to be so cute?"_

“I... like being friends too John, and uh--”

John deserved better than just words, words that could be more lies for all John knew. Bruce needed this to be perfect if it was going to happen. He courageously, but hesitantly took hold of the photograph still in John's hand, and placed it on the table to join its counterpart. He then took John's hands into his own, and gave them a reassuring squeeze.

“John... you mean *so* much to me. I care for you so much, despite what I did. You weren't just another person in my life, you were someone. Someone special. I want you to understand, okay?”

If John was not so pale, he would have blushed.

“Gee Bruce, I-- I mean that much to you? I mean, same to you! You're my best buddy and--”

“No John.” He strengthened the hand squeeze and began to caress John's hands with his thumbs.

Confused thoughts floated around John's mind like scattered jigsaw pieces, some of them hidden, and John cannot find them. Until he examined Bruce's face further, and John thinks he has found the missing pieces. Eyes that might as well have been pearls that spawned from the ocean's floor. His face was tinged with the slightest of pink, even reaching his ears that would occasionally twitch. Cute. John wanted to be sure, to test the waters before diving into that ocean and forever drown.

Drowning in those eyes.

John shuffles closer, their hips touching, watching as Bruce flinched slightly, but no objection. John finds so much humour in how unlike Bruce is to Batman. Stripped of his mask, who was Bruce really?

A man that cannot hide. A man John was privileged to see. It felt like the world to him.

John freed his hands of Bruce's grasp, his fingers taking refuge on both sides of Bruce's head. He had never seen Bruce so still in his life. A finger brushed against the hole of Bruce's right ear, a reminder to Bruce of what happened with Lady Arkham and Alfred. John finds charm in it, playing with the groove that was once skin. He felt Bruce jerk at the sensation, letting out boyish giggle.

_“Well now...”_

His fingers snaked their way through the hair that lay just above the back of Bruce's neck. Still keeping a thumb on that ear, he teased the skin, making circular motions on the lobe, and stroking it softly. He felt hands on the back of his own head, pulling, eliminating the space that kept their distance.

Closer, closer...

Until there was nothing left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer to write, as I had struggle with the beginning part especially, because sentences weren't make sense. I wanted to describe John's eyes like a spider web, because delicate, thread-like ("two threads in the same stitch"), and that idea of "getting caught in one's eyes". Or go with an astronomy theme, which took some research, though I had learned before that eyes look like nebula, so you can understand my approach here. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RATING HAS GONE UP TO M. Not NSFW, but things get pretty steamy.
> 
> It wasn't planned this way, but here we are. I'm sure you'll get a kick outta it though. ;)
> 
> Italics = flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S When I made this little BatJokes audio thing on Tumblr, it kinda helped me write this story, as you can see similarities:
> 
> http://bandicoot88.tumblr.com/post/173599977440/its-not-perfect-and-it-took-hours-to-do-i
> 
> I also used some headcanon/idea stuff that I've been posting on Tumblr too.

The kiss was almost chaste-like, a sense of vulnerability coming from both sides. John's lips were innocent, feeling like freshly spun candy floss. He brought John closer, giving himself up willingly for John to analyse just how much he meant to him.

Because words were stupid.

Bruce was a mystery to John. He was so goddamn handsome, like it was a crime. His jaw was that of iron, but his lips were like an angel. It made absolutely no sense, to the point where the thought was just so intoxicating. Despite billionaire Bruce being “a ladies man”, he sure was doing a horrible job maintaining that name. John was not a lady, sure, but John could feel Bruce's own insecurities about the situation they were in. The thought was compelling, and it gave John new born courage to take some initiative.

John may have been inexperienced, but that did not stop the man from trying to one-up Bruce. His interest in Bruce's neck and right ear disappeared momentarily, now favouring in laying his hands on those muscular shoulders. Somewhat unconsciously, Bruce understood John's intentions straight away, already lowering himself towards the bed, the persuading hands on his shoulders guiding him.

As Bruce's back greeted the mattress with his diagonal presence, with John partially sprawled on top of his chest, his legs came alive. Letting John go, he wished the rest of him to join him on the bed so his legs were not left dangling off to the side, with the bed's side uncomfortably digging into his left thigh. John allowed him room to do so, letting go of Bruce's shoulders to use the bed as support as he adjusted his own body by swinging his legs onto the bed too. Bruce brought up a knee, skittering his legs so that he was actually lying on the bed in a not so perfect line, but it was good enough. The weight that was once on his chest did not return, but instead found John sitting seductively across his legs that were sandwiched between John's knees. A singular dominate hand grabbed Bruce's wrists, pinning them over his head.

Bruce had to admit, this was exciting.

“Well look at that Brucie... looks like I'm the one on top...”

He gives Bruce one of his trademark winks.

John's sensual voice was off the record, his words slowed, his tone dipping with every word as he said them.

Bruce's mind collapsed. He wondered if John could hear the pulse in his throat as he allowed his eyes to be consumed. He then felt John's other hand grabbing at his tie, kneading at the cotton. A mix of danger and thrill struck his mind, especially when John decided to give it a quick yank. Bruce let out a small and shaky whine.

John's eyes lit up.

“Oh Brucie! Not so much of an angel that I thought you were.”

Bruce chuckled in response.

“What can I say?” he breathed. “You have that effect on me.”

John immediately lets go of Bruce's wrists, allowing Bruce to do whatever he pleased as John gave the tie another yank, harder, pulling at it in hopes the man beneath him would follow. Bruce used his hands to support himself as he was pulled within an inch of John's face. They breathed in each other's scent.

“Guess that makes us both devils.”

Bruce took the initiative this time, capturing those lips while John still kept him in place by holding his tie. Like an obedient dog, and like a dog, he bore the teeth to bite with, biting down on John's bottom lip. John lost himself in this new Bruce, letting the tie slack, allowing himself to fall backwards as Bruce followed him so that their positions were switched, with Bruce on top.

It was overwhelming.

A selection of nervous giggles barely escaped John's lips, but Bruce can hear it.

Panic.

_“I always laugh when I'm nervous.”_

Bruce immediately withdrew.

“J-John! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?” He pulled away even further, adjusting his position to something more formal, offering John a helpful hand to join him in a sitting position.

“Y-Yeah... I'm fine Bruce, just... I'm a little--”

“No no, it's fine, I get it. I just thought with the way you were being before-- It just felt natural, y'know? Be sure to let me know next time, okay?”

“Oh, so there's gonna be a next time, huh?” John snickered.

It was Bruce's turn to release a short but nervous laugh of his own, awkwardly putting a hand on the back of his head like he had seen John do so many times. Had John rubbed off on him?

“Well... if you'll have me.”

Bruce is greeted with a loving hug.

“Thank you Bruce.”

They enjoyed the silence, but before Bruce can say anything, John speaks up.

“Can we-- Can we just... cuddle for a bit? Like, over here?”

John had Bruce arrange himself so his back is against the wall, allowing John to sit in-between his legs with his back against Bruce's chest. John felt genuine security when Bruce wrapped his arms around the smaller man, keeping him snug in a little spoon position. Bruce could feel John whole heartedly relax against him, and noticed that all John wanted to do now was nap right where he was.

Bruce chose to rest his eyes at least, but eventually fell asleep too. Surely the guards would knock if they slept through visiting hours, but for the time being, it was just the two of them in perfect unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this stands well. Do let me know if you think Bruce is a tad OOC, as it did cross my mind, and I would hate to cross into that territory. I think I've just gotten away with it though? Telltale's Bruce he can be quite awkward/shy, especially with John, and I just love that about him. I need more fics/art of this, and John taking the initiative. I did already write fic on them like this, a one-shot called 'Patch up my Heart', if you haven't read it already:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14207976
> 
> P.S I'm thinking about adding at least one more chapter to this story, but I'm always open to ideas if you want me to continue. I'm just not entirely sure where to go after that. Do you want just more chapters of Bruce visiting John and have them play a game? Does Bruce take him out somewhere? My fic will never be NSFW (ish, perhaps), so just bear that in mind. Shoot me some prompts though, I'm all ears! :)


End file.
